motorchrome

Several months ago, I have the opportunity to drive a new Audi A3 equipped with Volkswagen Auto Group's revolutionary Direct Shift Gearbox (DSG). Sweet Jesus, was it neat. Pull the trigger paddle on the wheel and the damned thing ripped off a perfectly timed, very fast, and appropriately firm shift. I think I drive stick pretty well ...but not this well. As an added bonus, when I hit some traffic, I slid it into the 'Automatic' program and it behaved pretty much like a regular old automatic transmission.

For the sake of simplicity, the DSG operates like a stick shift, but with a computer system running the clutch pedal - resulting in perfrctly timed shifts. Nothing new you say? Your Chrysler Sebring has that (they call it 'autostick')? Not quite. Many automatic transmissions offer 'manual' control over shifts, and the uninitiated will likely not understand the difference between those and the DSG (or similar systems). Those transmissions are still, at their heart, an automatic transmission, torque converter and all. Still confused? Most of the people I try to explain it to are, which leads me to believe that I am not making a lick of sense or they are busy staring at my unruly nose hair. Robert Farago, from 'The Truth About Cars', wrote up a little article that does a great job of explaining. Robert Farago, incidently, writes pretty good editorials - although I still can't figure out what his ideal car is considering he usually can come up with lots of negatives on any car reviewed. None the less, The Truth About Cars is a great read and I highly reccomend it.

Do I think that this new breed of transmission will render the classic manual transmission obsolete? Yes, I do believe it - but not anytime soon. There is still something magical about being able to perfectly manipulate a manual gearbox through the gate. The DSG has little to be sorry for, though - and, as someone who deals with Washington D.C. traffic, I would be thankful for the availability of an automatic mode every once in a while too.

...you feel that you are somehow empowered to stick M3 badges all over your 318. Or if you have convinced yourself that BMW made an M5 wagon. Or if you think you have a better handle on the aerodynamic needs of a Bavarian autobahn stormer than the folks who birthed the beast.

A BMW Motorsport Division vehicle is a serious thing, and you are not fooling anybody. Seriously folks, what are you thinking. I want to vomit everytime I see a fine German auto treated this way. It should be illegal for companies to even create clear "Altezza" lights for a BMW. Furthermore, there is not a legit aftermarket accessory made for a BMW that can be picked up at your local AutoZone. I don't even know what else to say. I am embarrassed for all of you and can only hope you are sterile.

Check out this great page where no-talent ass-clowns go to swap fluids. The site, which is stocked full of BMW nightmares, has been around a while. I was reminded of it through Jalopnik. May God have mercy on you all.

My Dad once told me that the world is full of a$$holes. Apparantly they peddle their merchandise on ebay. I was alerted to this fire-sale via Jalopnik this morning. Some no-talent ass clown has created a right-hand drive conversion by hooking up a system of pulleys for the steering wheel and levers for the pedals. Something tells me that my local Exxon would have trouble passing this through the safety inspection. If you act quick, you too can own the scariest vehicle known to man. Check out the ebay auction here.

I am a gadget freak. I love toys. I am not afraid of them. I actually use them and take time to understand them. Cars these days certainly do feed the gadget hunger that burns deep inside my belly (or maybe that is a tape worm). Relatively mainstream cars can be had with high-end audio systems, trip computers with fancy information displays, bluetooth hands-free phone systems, satelite radio, adaptive xenon headlights, cooling and heating for my ass, and - my favorite - navigation systems. Some codgers out there argue that this is an overpriced solution for a $2 map. While I can read and understand a map, I cannot safely do so while driving. Besides looking cool, a nav system could be really handy for finding your way around a traffic jam or getting out of a spot when you are turned around. I would also consider it a relationship saver - without giving specific call-outs, I will say that I have had co-pilots/navigators that needed an intel-sized bump in processing throughput. I think the investment pays for itself based on arguments avoided.

While Tom Tom and Garmin make affordable aftermarket solutions, I still have to say that the integrated systems seem to be the best thought out. For one thing, I do not have to worry about taking my portable unit down of the dash everytime I park. They remove snaking wires waterfalling of the dashboard. Factory systems are typically very well integrated into other car systems such as audio and lighting. I have always thought that the Apline-based Acura systems were the best executed, followed by the Fujitsu/Denso Lexus units. That may change. Google and VW are apparantly working on a collaborative effort to integrate Google Map functionality into a navigation system. How awesome is that! Imgaine being able so see the topography in true photograph form. This is definitely something to watch and is just one more step in Google's neverending quest to rule the world and eventually imprison me in a matrix-style cocoon where my life-force will be harvested to power Google servers.

Gas-electric hybrid cars are becoming more and more popular. Toyota still has waiting lists for the ground-breaking Prius and other car makers are trying to get in the game fast. Nissan is set to introduce a hybrid Altima in the coming model year, and GM is even planning on introducing hybrid SUVs (as in take-all-your-Mormon-kids-to-the-trampoline-store Tahoe/Suburbans as well as a hybrid Saturn Vue "Green Line").

It seems that there are two schools of thought with hybrid cars: 1) use hybrid technology to get maximum mileage (as in the Prius), or 2) use the electric motor, and the accompanying deep reserves of instant-on torque, to boost performance (as in the Accord hybrid or several other Toyota/Lexus applications like the Highlander or upcoming Lexus GS450h). There may be a third take as well, which is somewhere in the middle. This is the most sensible approach. The new Camry, for all it's creamy bland center goodness, will offer a hybrid model slotting between the base 4 banger and V6 models in both performance and price. Genius.

With all of the options and approachs discussed above, it is not hard to see how folks are confused (and we have not even started talking about the cost/benefit analysis). I have heard misguided discussion around my office hallways talking about battery explosions, longevity, and EMT personnel not being able to rescue individuals trapped in a hybrid car. BusinessWeek does a pretty good job of revealing the Top Ten Hybrid Myths. They hit all the major points, even if a couple are pretty obvious.